She may need to be on some medication, some sort of antidepressant or anxiety med for a while, maybe for a long while. You can't tell her the only way you'll accept her back home is if she doesn't do ANYTHING. This would drive me to suicide.
When my husband tried to stop my drinking it made me even more mad and determined to get him out of my face. His goody two shoes attitude made me cringe. I wanted to run away from everyone. My husband, my kids, everyone. Just to leave me the hell alone.
I had gone through dealing with 2 different types of cancers and constant drama with my kids and I've had it. If I wanted to drink myself to death, than so be it, and let them suffer, the ***** that they were and how little they thought of my situation and only bloodsucking from me.
I eventually realized that it got out of hand and I couldn't stop it and took my husband's advice and went to rehab. It changed my life.