Here we go, this might get lengthy, not sure yet. The claxons have been sounding and I have been preparing for battle for the last few hours, but we will get to that:
I talked to the social worker for 20 minutes before she brought me to my wife. SW said the group sessions were going quite well, except....(pause was provided by the SW telling me this) she said my wife was a great manipulator. My AW convinced the duty doctor over the weekend that her back hurt so bad that she needed loritab!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE DOCTORS?!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor gave her the meds. She is in rehab for opiates and alcohol, and yet they gave her the pain meds she is in there to combat?! The SW said the doc was very sorry, and they were investigating the incident. What incident?! A doc gave drugs to a drug addict that was there to get help. Not sure what there is to investigate. The doctor in charge of the facility explained that my wife convinced the duty doc that she was there for alcohol, and apparently the doc never looked at her chart for the rest of the story. So she had two more days of opiates, opiates that she has not had for months. Great. Back to square one. I am sure there is a lawsuit in there somewhere, but I don't care anymore.
The SW brought my wife in and the meeting progressed, there were tears, some for joy, some for anger ,but it seemed we were on the right track. My AW said she wanted to quit drinking, that she didn't want to lose me or the kids. She recognized that I can't control her drinking, only she can. It was about this time that I noticed something was up,it was going too well. She kept talking about the drinking. She was choosing her words quite carefully. She is not the only one capable of manipulation.
I led the conversation in a specific direction and eventually I asked her where her pill hiding places were. She got very defensive and wanted to know why. I explained to her that I talked to her pseudo psychiatrist and she revoked all of her prescriptions, and informed the Walgreens pharmacist that her pills needed to be disposed of since the prescription was now void, and those pills were no longer hers. That included the pills at home.
She went through the roof.
If she wasn't doped up, I think she may have hit me in that moment. Fortunately, I am not doped up, and therefore able to move much quicker. The social worker had her removed and then we talked. SW said that she did not see that coming, and had no idea it was that bad. Are you kidding, my wife carefully only said alcohol, never once mentioned the pills. It only took me 5 minutes to figure it out, they have had her for a week, dozens of sessions, and never noticed her vocabulary was very specific. Maybe they are only used to crack heads and poor people or something in there. (no offense to poor crack heads, just a representation of folks that are typically not educated)
Anyway, the SW said that would set back their progress quite a bit. What progress?! I was a little pissed at this point. The pills were here lifeline, her golden parachute, she was just going through the motions, knowing she had dozens of pills stashed around the house to get her through the day. I think she meant what she said about the booze, but without giving up all the drugs, it will make no difference. There was no progress to speak of.
I am supposed to talk to the hospital director tomorrow about the vicodin incident as well as the schedule for her home coming. I don't want her to come home, and the SW agreed with me. Unfortunately, today/tonight are the last days of her meds. Starting tomorrow afternoon, she will no longer be sedated or whatever, and then she will realize she can leave whenever she wants. This is the turning point in what happens next. I asked the hospital to have her committed, the SW saw her reaction to my disclosure of her pills being taken away. My AW was also a bit upset that I found her stashed lorezapam (not sure on the spelling, another stupid tranq drug). She is obviously not stable enough to come home yet. My insurance will pay for 28 days of this private care. I want to use every last day and give her as much of a fighting chance as I can.
I spent the hour drive home crying, partly from rage at doctors, partly disappointment, partly grieving for the inevitable loss of my wife, my best friend, the mother of our two awesome little boys.
Then I went to battle. I called her parents, arranged to fly my MIL to come out and help with the kids. My parents were next in line, rotating with the in-laws. My wife's sisters called as well, wanted to know what they can do to help. They are both fairly well off and offered to take the boys. No can do, they are staying with me, and not changing schools. I told them they can help with my wife. She is going to need somewhere to go in a few weeks. Somewhere away from her deadbeat friends she has here. My in-laws are awesome, as well as my parents. They will help me in any way. The next hard part is trying to work out this thing with the military. I have one year left in my contract, but it is supposed to be on a ship. I already did 9 years of sea time, beyond the normal sea time for an entire career, but such is life in the specialized field I work in.
I have rallied my troops, I handled the meeting quite well I think, was very careful of my words, made sure I did not antagonize her, until I figured out her game.
I wish there was no game. I want it to be over, one way or another. I just want this stress to be gone. I am supposed to have a cross country move in 6 months, I have a house I am upside down 40K on, so I have to deal with that, if I find myself single, I have two dogs, two kids, and a big ass house full of stuff, and all the debt to take care of. I can't count on her for any type of funding, but at least I can drop her student loans. I will be deploying, and my job is incredibly stressful. My house of cards is getting quite large, but I began shoring up the base today, once this rehab time is up, I can begin to tear down the no longer needed parts, but until then, I must continue juggling the whole thing.
On a side note-
Doctors suck, this is beyond a bad experience and bitterness. A whole new set of doctors, and they are just as stupid as the others and continue making the same mistakes as the others. These are supposed to be specialists, even better than a regular psych. I honestly have no faith in the medical industry any longer. Just write me a prescription so I can calm down.
Sorry this is long, but as you all know, this is quite an emotional time, and I still have no closure and no definitive path to take as far as divorce, getting her out of here and so on. Who knows, maybe next week she will see the light and get her head out of her ass. But I will not let her back in here without a plan....period.