Thanks for your post SKW... you are right !!
Also Donna if you sign a contract then they can't raise the rent for the duration of that contract. And moving IS a hassle (I have moved 7 times!! in the lat 2 years) but I am in a place now that is peaceful for the most time, where I live alone with my 2 cats and the peace I feel there is worth it.
I had a XABF that also abused and was cruel verbally - his 'sober' side was someone I cared for, but no one has the right to take out their anger issues with me plain and simple... I used to think I deserved it but it turns out that no, I didn't deserve ANY of that, and yes it was HIS problem and not mine. I never deserved it... none of the suffering, none of the tension, none of the interrupted sleep...
Therapy has helped me a lot, hope you give it a chance ? also the book "codependent no more" by Melody Beatty has been very useful...