(((hugs)))
What a burden you're carrying, protecting all the people around you by not talking about their alcoholism!!!
You have a right to take care of yourself, and it sounds like you've come to a breaking point. I know sometimes that's what it takes when you're the one who's been keeping it together for everyone else -- you don't ask for help until you're just feeling broken inside. And you're not used to asking for help, which makes it that much harder. Just know this:
It is OK to not be able to handle everything on your own.
I once called my regular doctor's office crying so hard I couldn't even talk. Luckily, the triage nurse was married to an alcoholic and was able to pick out the context from whatever random words she managed to understand. I'm telling you this because I want you to know that there
are people out there who understand, and who are willing to help.
I second (or third) all the suggestions above. Al-Anon is an amazing way to feel like you have some grip on your life again (and I was terrified the first time I walked into a meeting -- but it's the most caring, non-judgmental community of people I've ever encountered). And if you have that option, maybe you could call your doctor? Because it sounds to me like you're in a very bad place right now. And I'm sorry for the alcoholism that brought you here, but I'm glad you're here. This is a good place.