Quote:
Originally Posted by Learn2Live
PS Since you asked, "What do I do?" if it were me, having been through this a couple times with several different alcoholics and addicts, I would not permit the person back into my home.
I understand what you mean, but I don't have it in me. She has nowhere to go, her family won't take her, and the friends that would take her are part of the problem. She would only get worse. I know she would start whoring around, and if that happens, I will NEVER take her back. At least at this point, I am willing to salvage our relationship and help her in any way possible
I understand,
Marlin. Likely everyone on this board has felt this too. When I was in this position, I too had to honor my values and do what I thought was right. I learned a great deal during these times. In my experience, the most important thing for you to do here is TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. It is very easy to ignore your own needs in these circumstances, especially when you have young children added to the equation. You sound like a VERY strong and capable man, however, please take the necessary steps to seek out support in your community. Whether that means attending AlAnon or other group, participating in church activities, or just playing basketball with the guys on Saturday mornings, it is important for YOU. I hope you will do that.
What has also helped me when I have been in this situation is the Serenity Prayer. It appears at the bottom of all of my posts but I will type it out here.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Reciting this prayer during trying times afforded me sanity when I needed it most. I hope you find that strength from it too.
I just want to gently point out for you that unless she decides to stop, she WILL get worse no matter what you do. In my experience, the trick is to learn as much as you can about the disease so that you can understand what is happening and how she thinks. There are many books on alcoholism and drug addiction. I also strongly suggest the articles by Dr. Floyd Garrett found here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rrett-m-d.html and here:
The Addictive Process (the articles are under "Original Papers" on the right-hand side of the screen).
Thank you for sharing and responding. Keep coming back. (((hugs)))
P.S. Given her past history and what you have stated here, please take the necessary precautions to protect yourself from contracting STDs from this person.