Originally Posted by
Learn2Live 
PS Since you asked, "What do I do?" if it were me, having been through this a couple times with several different alcoholics and addicts, I would not permit the person back into my home.
I understand what you mean, but I don't have it in me. She has nowhere to go, her family won't take her, and the friends that would take her are part of the problem. She would only get worse. I know she would start whoring around, and if that happens, I will NEVER take her back. At least at this point, I am willing to salvage our relationship and help her in any way possible.
Originally Posted by
tjp613 Would it be possible to take a medical leave of absence (under the Family Medical Leave Act) so you can have some space while you see how this plays out?
I am going to look into this. Unfortunately, the higher your rank gets, the more closely tied your family becomes to your professional success. I know that sounds crazy, but look at the president or a congressman. Their spouse/kids directly reflect on their own performance. This is silly, that i care, but as I mentioned, over half of my thinking life, I have been in the Navy. The higher your rank, the more political your job becomes.
Well, just finished reading up on the FMLA. That leave only applies to the family of the military member. It is to get her our of work to take care of me. It does not provide an option for the military member to take leave to take care of family.
Originally Posted by
kiki5711 Yea, this always gets me! How ridiculous. They know damn well if someone has sleep problems it's not going to go away in 7 days!!!!, hence people becoming addicted to them.
You said in rehab she was drugged up for detox.
I went to rehab for alcohol/prescription med abuse and the meds they gave me to detox were not "fun". I couldn't sleep, felt wired, strange, but not "happily medicated" if you know what I mean.
I did go through a huge mental transformation from going to all the meetings all day long, and looking deep into myself of who I am and what the hell am I doing to myself.
I'm wondering if your wife is getting anything at all from being in rehab?
When I talked to her on the phone last night, I asked about where all of her stashes are, she got all pissy and wouldn't tell me. She said she had legal prescriptions for those and there was nothing I could do about it. In actuality she does not have legal prescriptions any longer, her docs revoked all of them, I just have to find them and dispose of them. She said that she is doing all this just in case DSS gets involved. She does seem to want to stop drinking, even asked me to look up local AA groups and times. But she doesn't think the pills are a problem.
As far as I am concerned, they are THE problem that started all this. She multi-doses these pills, then heads off to the store to get booze. These pills also remove any emotion/stress/anxiety and whatnot from her life. All those little things that normal people use as triggers and warnings. She has effectively figured out a way to disable her "check engine light". She had a sleep study done a few months ago at my urging, it came back with no significant problems. Meaning, she sleeps just fine.
Stress and anxiety are incredibly important to being healthy, if you take away or dull those feelings, you are removing any possible chance you have to recognize a problem. Kind of like turning up the radio in your car to ignore that funny noise.