It sounds truly terrible - but remember its not up to you to "fix" her. Only she can do this. You can't make her well. Only she can do that. I am sure that you will be a tower of strength for your wife once she decides she wants to be sober/clean - but you will have to wait for that to happen. I know only too well what it is like to be "forced" into something - It will not work.
My thoughts go out to you and your young sons.