He plans to serve her while she is in rehab which I kind of have mixed feeling about, but after everything I have been through I don't really care.
Good for you. It's not like you're serving her with divorce papers while she's in the hospital having a heart transplant. She's in rehab where she has support. I don't see anything wrong with that.
I have finally figured out I will be a much better dad divorced then trying to "save the marriage for the kids"
That's a hard pill to swallow, but that's the conclusion I drew, too.
Just one more thing -- you will be gobsmacked at the amount of support that is available from friends, coworkers, family, strangers once you start talking about what your life is like.
Everyone has an alcoholic in their life. There are precious few people who can't relate at all.
Big hugs & welcome to SR!!!