OMG! i am so sorry you are going through all of this...
for her, its called DENIAL
for you, its called AL ANON or NAR ANON...
the 3C's
you did not cause this
you can not control this
and you can not cure this
take it one step at a time...1st, you and your kids....you need to stay strong for them...
we have a bunch of stickies on top for you to read...read as much as you can...and ask more questions...
can she stay at detox? for how long?