I think I've gone to work on time once this whole year.
Fortunately my manager is so impressed at how "on top of things" I am now that he hasn't noticed that I'm always late.
I am not babysitting a grown (I almost typed "groan"
) man while trying to accomplish everything else, so staying "on top of things" is very easy now.
I am still trying to figure out the things that I like. I don't have any activities at all planned yet, although my psychologist keeps pushing me to start practicing my instruments and join some band nearby. I am not sure if I want to, but practicing can't hurt - yet they're still in the back of my closet gathering dust.
I got a massage today, which felt like it lifted a million pounds off my shoulders, I did not realize how much tension I had! A neighbor loaned me two movies, I already watched one, and had a blast. I did go to see "The Dilemma" with some of my neighbors last week as well, and went to dinner afterward, which felt great.
I also let myself cry whenever I feel I need to. (In work sometimes I'll excuse myself to the bathroom, although I can do it at my desk most times of day.) I'm still a bit sluggish in the mornings, but I have been doing better the rest of the day.
I did agree to only see my psychologist every other week this time around, and see what happened. I am going to tell him when I see him next week that I don't feel ready for that yet, because right now that extra boost of confidence after seeing him helps more than I realized. But I'm still glad I skipped this week, because now I know just how much it helps.
Sometimes it just takes awhile for things to register, for the weight to lift off my shoulders, for me to realize that everything is going to be okay even though it feels like the end of the world when I think about what I've just been through.