MarlinVX

I know there are a ton of threads like this. I have perused so many in the last few hours, and have learned so much about the process.
My wife and I have been married almost 10 years and have 4 and 5 yr old boys.
I am active duty military.
It all started 9 years ago. She had back pain, docs treated with opiates. This went on until about a year ago. I threw down the gauntlet with a doctor, he was just a pain clinic doc. What I refer to as a drug dealer. I got in his face at an appointment, a MRI, 4 months later, she was diagnosed with severe deteriorated disc and they did a fusion of her L4-L5. That was Dec09. Her abuse of opiates was incredible, she would often take herself to an ER during the day to get more vicodin when she ran out. She convinced her psychiatrist that she was having anxiety and panic attacks. 10 years of marriage, I have never seen her have a panic attack. What she really had was the first stages of withdraw. She would tell them she had migraines, again, more withdraw symptoms in the last week or two of her prescription cycle when she ran out of pills. She now has an army of doctors, some prescribing xanax, some ambien, some lunesta, some valium, and the list goes on. Fortunately, SC has laws that limit opiate prescription duration. Those ended a few months ago, then life got really bad. It was bad enough before, I have an inventory of videos of her actions on ambien, and whatnot. She would multidose, not even knowing it. She would start talking to guys on the internet, sexting, that would lead to phone calls.
She never remembers any of it. I have printed the transcripts of her conversations. She knows I have key loggers on all the computers, so I am legally in the clear.
Since the opiates went away, now she started even heavier on the drinking. She switched from beer to bottles of vodka. I did not know this. Her normal daily routing, get up at 630 am, get the kids dressed, and I take em to school. Then she would go back to bed. She has to pick up the youngest at 1130am, then she brings him home and she takes a nap with him until I get home at 2-3pm. She goes to work at 330pm part time at walgreens.
She gets off work at 1030, comes home, says she is checking her email and having a beer and coming to bed. By 3am, she is high, drunk, and on the computer. She then whines that she needs ambien because she can't sleep at night.
The pot finally boiled over a few weeks ago, she was drunk and high at 11am, picked up both kids from school, drove around with her friend and her baby as well. She tried to molest the exterminator that day too.
A few days later, she was passed out on the floor when I got home, the 4 year old jumping on her trying to wake her up.
I found brand new prescriptions for xanax and ambien in her purse.
I called her so called psychiatrist. Turns out she is only a nurse under the supervision of an actual doctor. My wife has never met the actual doctor in almost 2 years of appointments.
Matter of fact, my wife hasn't seen the nurse in person in months. She gets her prescriptions written over the phone.
My wife is now in rehab, I have a lawyer working on the multitude of doctors, at least suspensions if not license removal for their fraudulent prescriptions. I don't care about money. They all know that she drinks, they(the docs) admitted that much.
Anyway, the rehab docs want her on Revia, I told them not a chance. I looked at the side effects, dizziness, drowsiness and so on. She will take the entire bottle if that is what it takes. I have watched her take a box of benydryl at one time just to get that effect.
I told them I wanted her on antabuse. They said they are not sponsors of that med. Go figure, the new expensive Revia, which gives them kickbacks via incentive programs is a 'sponsored' med. The drug that has been around for 70 years and is practically free, they won't prescribe.
You have no idea the anger I have toward the medical insurance and doctor industry. For those that think healthcare insurance is great, you are 100% wrong. When a doc can just write a scrip and bill a company without even doing anything with the patient, the system is broke. At least cash paying customers expect to get something for their money.
I have our first meeting with my wife and her doctor tomorrow afternoon. I pick her up on tuesday. Part of me wants to do whatever it takes to help her. The other part wants to punch her in the face (metaphorically, if I have made it this far without hurting her, I should be fine)and make her hurt the why she has made the boys and me hurt. I know she will be sober, so she will remember everything I say. No hiding behind her pills and bottles. I want her to cry, I want her to hurt, I want her to feel the despair that we do.
I know that is a natural reaction, but I also want my wife back, the one I married 10 years ago. But after reading so many horror stories on here, it is probably not realistic. I have to put my boys first, even if that means throwing away 15 years of active duty service, I can't deploy and take care of my boys. But whatever it takes, that is what I will do.

I just don't know what to do tomorrow at the meeting. I went and saw her yesterday for the first time. She said she did't have a problem and didn't need to be there. She was drugged up for detox. That alone tells me that the process is not working, she is going through the motions just in case DSS gets involved.
What do I do????

For those that have posted their stories, thank you, it at least tells met that I am not alone in my experience.