Welcome. I'm fairly new too. I did leave, but it took a lot longer than it should have. My love for XABF was truly an addiction as strong as his was to alcohol. I wasn't stupid, I was hooked and it took rock bottom to get out. I'm sad, but I'm so glad to be on my own. Already there is a peacefulness in my new home and my kids are so much happier. I still get a "craving" here and there, but realize I can't stop at just one. I'll just respond to one text, sleep with him one last time, pick up the phone just this once....it has always begun the cycle again. So I miss him, I feel bad for him, but my focus is on me and my children now. I could give him all my love and energy and I still won't have the power to change him, but putting that love and energy into my kids and myself makes huge positive changes every day.