When I first started dating my XABF, there isn't anything I wouldn't have done for him, and nothing he said that I wouldn't have believed. He just seemed to know the answer to everything, and problems got solved, and I learned a
lot about a variety of topics.
Then the alcoholism got worse and worse, and everything went haywire. I just felt so manipulated and unhappy 100% of the time, to the point where anything he said I put through the ringer of "Why is he saying this? What is he trying to manipulate me to do?" The trust that I had in him was destroyed, pulled apart brick by brick, until there was nothing left.
Last week he broke "no contact" by sending me an email. In it, he used all his manipulation tactics - "I had so much I learned about the 12 steps that I wanted to share with you but I never got the chance" being the most obvious manipulation. He also claimed that he got into a car accident the day he got out of rehab, the car was a giant mess and in the shop, and he just got out of the hospital and was driving a rental. I chalked this up to yet another attempt at manipulation, never answered the email, and just shook my head that he believed I would fall for that one.
His sister called today, to see how I was doing. Turns out the accident was true - his cataract got so bad while he was in rehab that he couldn't see well enough to drive, and nearly totaled his car.
So here I am, stuck wondering if I should feel guilty for not believing him, or view this as one more reason why there's too many things wrong in this relationship. I just don't know what to do anymore. In addition, his birthday is on Monday, and the closer it comes the more upset I have been getting. Granted, he was a drunken raving screaming lunatic on my birthday, but still.
It's just too much, too soon, all at once. My head is spinning, and I can't find the "This Side Up" arrow anymore.
