I agree with
Lexie that AlAnon is a good way to go. However, with 6.5 weeks until baby comes, I can see how that might be problematic. I suggest keep coming here to SR and reading others' posts, continuing to post here about your situation, and reading some books on alcoholism and codependency. Learning about the disease of alcoholism and the trap of codependency is really key IMO (in my opinion). But if you are physically willing and able then Yes! go to AlAnon. The in-person support you get there is invaluable! There is a real strength to be gotten from surrounding yourself with people who have gone through and are going through exactly what you are going through.
There are some practical things I'd like to point out for you from your post though.
This:
He had a pretty tough upbringing to say the least, and am sure his increase in drinking is partly to do with the old issues that have reared their heads now that he has a son of his own.
is a rationalization. It is a moot point. We tend to search, search, search for the reason WHY? when the reason why has nothing to do with anything. Try to avoid searching for this. All it does is create rationalizations for the behavior.
Try instead to understand that alcoholism is a disease, no more, no less. When you see that it is a disease, you can then easily understand The Three C's:
You did not cause it.
You cannot cure it.
And you cannot control it.
And this:
...Thursday night he gets home early from work, gives me a big kiss and hug, telling me that come Monday a whole lot is going to change.
is a ruse. A stall tactic. They do it CONTINUOUSLY. And they can do it for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS. I have watched my father do this for damn near 30 years. And he is still drinking 15 beers a day. Except that since about age 50, he has been doing nothing BUT SITTING there drinking 15 beers a day. Alcoholism is progressive. The drinking continues, the sick thinking gets worse, and their lives slowly turn to nothing but drinking.
Alcoholism is a chronic, fatal disease that cannot be cured and will progress unless the alcoholic completely STOPS. It does not sound like your spouse wants to stop or thinks that he needs to. Please take the BEST care of yourself you possibly can. BE SELFISH about your needs, especially now, with the baby coming.
