You are doing the right thing, for a start. I suggest you need to be strong and focus on you and your daughter. Your wife has made her own mess and she needs to deal with it.
Remember, they say what ever they think you need to hear to give them one more chance. They KNOW they can manipulate you. They know the words that work on you. But in the end, most of them can not change their behavior in months. It takes many, many years.
Move on and let her get well.
And read this post:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...eft-rehab.html