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Old 01-27-2011, 07:40 AM
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trinitrish
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1
How do I deal with Rejection

Hi,

I am not sure where to start with this and I have no idea what I should really be doing.
My Fiance is a recovering alcoholic and is over two years sobriety. This year will make it Three. I am very very proud of him and he has made great progress. He now lectures several times a week at treatment centers and prisons. Attends both AA and NA meetings almost everyday. He works with his Sponsors and Sponsees and he is very dedicated to helping others.

However many times, he gets so depressed and angry. He does other things I think to the extreme. He has focused on fitness and health and will spend hrs doing various exercises. He will get little rest because he will stay up writing, going to meetings etc and then complains he didn't sleep and is angry and cranky. He talks about being a failure or a nobody or dying. These things make me mad, I tell him he should look at what he has done with his life, how he has made so many great changes for the better and shouldn't think so.

We don't live together, I am from a different country and hopefully will be moving this year. We spend a lot of time communicationg via phone, emails, skype and we visit as often as we can. Many times our relationship feels strained because I am always feeling unimportant. He is always angry, tired, too busy, working, at a meeting, with a client or his sponsor or sponsee or driving to see his kids or just in a bad mood. So talking to him is difficult. It is always on his terms and time or when it is convenient to him which is almost never because he's doing something else. I will try to call, and its always to wrong time.

Many times I feel I am being selfish and not understanding. I beat myself up for being a bad person. But I cannot help but feel like I am always at last place in his life and I don't know what I should do. He makes me feel like I am always failing him. I try to be as understanding and patient but even that seems to not work. I then get frustrated and angry and will lash out at him because I feel he shows no regards to my emotions or how sometimes his actions hurt me. And no matter how many times I try to explain...he just seems oblivious to what I am saying and only sees it as me attacking him.

I love this man very much, and he is a wonderful amazing person. I see so much good in him. I see so much will power and potential. However, I need to know what I can do to be better for him. If I move, I will be making a big and drastic change in my life. I will give up my life as i know it. I just want to know that I am doing the right thing.

Please Help Me.
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