thanks again for all the support guys, it means so much to talk to people that understand what im going through!
Im not quite sure what the aim of having a chat would be. It wouldnt be to get back together as i know i couldnt get back together unless he fixed himself which wont happen soon. I actually feel numb towards him and a sense of relief that im away from him? I think im realising now that im missing the thought of a relationship/being in love than him. I guess having a chat would allow me to say the things about how he made me feel that i didnt get to say but then again what would it achieve? It would probably fall on deaf ears. It just makes me so angry that its only those closest to him that see him in action, he hides it pretty well to every1 else which fuels his denial. Looking back i enabled his behaviour by making sure he got up for work on time (he wasnt capable of this on his own! !) i wish i hadnt bothered as maybe he would of faced up to things sooner.
For those that are wondering im almost 24. I think a fresh start is my best option. Just scared about meeting new people as for the first few weeks i wont be very mobile because of the broken foot. Im also worried about getting romantically involved with someone in the future. I seem to have a habit of staying long term with jerks who mess me around. When i meet a nice guy i get spooked and run away. When i eventually get the guts to date again i end up staying with a jerk. Maybe its a subconscious thing about sticking to what you know after a drama filled upbringing? !
Xx