Welcome to SR!
My counselor told me an old joke once that pretty much summed up my marriage: Women marry men hoping they'll change; men marry women hoping they won't.
I think Stella's advice is a very good starting point: See things for what they are, not for what you would like them to be.
Your posts says a lot about him, and his needs, and his life, and his stressors. What about you? What do you want from your life?