she apparently feels that I think my life problems are worse than hers....well my answer to that is that they are worse to me because they are MY problems. Her problems are not more important to me than my own.
I don't think you need any advice. I think you're doing pretty flippin' great on your own here.
And I think you are wise to limit your exposure to people who drain your energy. One of the most amazing things I've discovered so far in my recovery is that I can say "no" to people without feeling guilty. It took me a
long time to get to that point because I used to feel guilty over everything and worry about hurting people's feelings.
It's not selfish to focus on yourself first in this situation. It's like that thing about the oxygen masks on planes. And you're doing great.