Welcome, Dayr. You will find this site to be immensely helpful; full of some very insightful, wise people.
Kudos for your courageousness! It's the hardest thing you will probably ever do, but one day you will look back on this...probably still with disbelief, but mainly sadness. Be thankful that there are no kids being drawn into this madness...but that doesn't make it any easier for you. Hang in there and check in here often, for you are truly cared for here.
I have to comment on something Tuffgirl said regarding her finding it difficult to drink now. The same thing happened to me --- I used to enjoy a drink (or two or three!) sometimes; socially. And now, with my messed up psyche, I can't tolerate it all all. I have to force myself to get a couple of sips down --- so what's the point?!? I think the whole alcohol thing has such a bad connotation in my mind that it has just become unbearable. Makes me angry...something else I enjoyed stolen from me!
Be strong Dayr. One day at a time.