(((hugs))) Donna!
It sounds like you're taking care of everyone else, and nobody's taking care of you.
That's a lot of stress for one person to carry. A lot of people not acting their age and not taking responsibility for themselves.
I know I felt like it was selfish of me to tell people what I wanted and what I needed, because they were so quick to tell my how much worse
their lives were compared to mine. It took me a long time to work up the stamina to dare say "I can't live like this anymore; this life is siphoning the joy out of my living and the strength out of my body and soul."
You do have the right to say that. You do have the right to live your own life, and not just be the Pillar Of Strength for everyone around you. We all have that right. And it doesn't have to start with great big pronouncements and giant leaps. It's OK if it starts with baby steps. Like saying "no" to certain things.