I have and do feel those things, as well, and he is here being sober.
I know you are thinking that you lowered yourself for years and slogged around in his messy life, finally got out, and now he is going to heal and b all shiny and new...
Well, let's hope for that for him. Becoming sober allows all the crap that people Are drinking to stuff down bubble up to the surface.
IF he is getting sober, IF he can stay sober, it is still a lot of work, and I am finding my A to be rife with personality issues, of the psych nature.
I guess my point is this; try not to fantasize him into perfect oblivion and to see yourself left holding the bag, so to speak. I know it is hard, and the resentment of mine is a major issue for us. We may not make it due to that...
I was recently turned onto a book by my recovering sister. It is really helping me get out of my cycles. It requires a certain spiritual outlook, but you don't need to live wiith all this anger.
Look it up, see what you think:
Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping