I'm glad I read this topic; thank you for starting it Lizrd
There's a group in my area kinda like the Trudgers. They have a midnight meeting and they're always lively. Every now and then my 23 year old RAD plays board games there after the meetings. She's taken a bunch from home too. We're about cleaned out and I'm not complaining; it's a world of difference from when she stole from us to feed her addiction.
I'll be honest, I was kind of jealous when she'd come home feeling and seeming so alive, while I was sitting there waiting for her. I started wishing for a late night meeting, myself lol.
I pretty much raised my kids by myself, my husband was always gone. We own a business and it took a lot of hard work, sacrifices, to become successful (I knocked on wood just now). I was used to being independent and it wasn't ever a problem, I liked the solutions I came up with for just about anything ;-)
Until my daughter lost control. That's when I tried to take control of her. I had to let go, she hit her bottom, and it took a while for me to let go again.
I had a vision of what her recovery should look like, but that isn't how it's turned out. She works her recovery the way she needs to, and I do the same for myself. I won't tolerate her trying to take my inventory, so I won't do that to her, either. I started working the program I wished she would, before she did. Then damn it all to hell, she did me one better
Lizrd, I know it's different with children and a marriage. You all have lived a certain way for 5 years, now, and it was building before that. Your kids spend time with a sober, recovering mom now, and that's the biggest and best thing so far. Pretty soon they'll have a much happier dad, too, as you continue to work your own recovery