Hi again NikNox,
My teenage niece just went to live with my brother 4 months before her High School Graduation. Which meens she now has to change schools and leave all her friends including a great boyfriend. She stuck by her mother through it all and has A's and B's in school and works part time. She has just moved in with my brother because her alcoholic mother bit her own lip to make it bleed and called the police on her and had her arrested for assault. Then her mother called my brother and said to him HAHAHA I just had your bit** of a daughter arrested all while slurring her words. The sad part it this was not the worst of what my niece has been through. She never wanted to leave because of her younger sister!!! She felt it was her place to take care of her and protect her. Not sure if this may be the same kind of situation going on over there. Siblings tend to take a certain role in a chemically induced household.
I will also tell you I grew up in an chemically induced household and I am now very aware of the roles I filled. One of which was protecting my younger siblings and also taking on the role of parent. I cooked, cleaned whatever needed to be done. I am also now married to an addict. I am currently reading a book that actually describes what it is like to grow up in a home like this and explains how we end up in certain roles as adults. I would suggest the more you educate yourself on the affect of it that the more help you can be. Meetings, reading, this site and counseling are things I am doing so at least my behavior will not have such an impact on my children.
I also did know about what little control and say the fathers have due to my brother in-law who is going through something very similar. My prayers are with you, your husband and your step-daughter.