Originally Posted by
Babyblue 
If someone says directly that they are an a**hole then that is as red of a flag as you will get. It means he knows how his behaviors affect others and doesn't really care.
Also if they tell you other relationship 'horror' stories, that means relationship baggage.
I'm sorry how he is treating you. I don't think it has anything to do with recovery. He sounds like guy with issues. Sorry
I'm sorry too, but I agree with Babyblue.
This is almost exactly how my 14 year relationship with the A started. I wanted to be the one who could break through those walls and I loved the initial attention. It was 'yanked away' from me - just like it has been, from you. If I'd known then what I do now - I would have let it go. He'd call me occasionally and I pursued. I thought he just needed to be in touch with his feelings for me and I went the extra mile to bring him 'around'. It was the worst mistake of my life, and if I could go back to that time where you are right now, I would have let him walk away.
I chose not to see those
RED FLAGS for the very reason you may be. Because when he WAS attentive, it blew me away, and when he shut me out I was sure that he really didn't want to do that. Please heed those red flags. You could be saving yourself unimaginable grief.