Hi. I don't have a whole lot of wisdom or anything, but I know the feeling of anger very well. I felt it for years. He's out having the time of his life, and I'm home raising our child. Mine isn't sober or even trying to be, but that's okay. And the only reason it's okay is because it has to be.
It is good that he is sober. I'm sure taking a back seat to recovery rather than alcoholism would be the better of the two. Why worry about where you fit in with his world? Where does he fit into yours?
I no longer need a blue ribbon for enduring. I played the martyr for years, and here I am, but I'm a better person for my experience. You will be fine. Don't rate yourself on his scale. Make your own standards. Does he live up to yours?