Congrats on 4 months! You've got more sober time than me so I don't know when things start to even out, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling the roller coaster too. We have to keep in mind that it isn't worth it to go back. We'd just have to start our sobriety all over again, and those beginning days are hard. It is worth it, you quit for a reason I'm sure. Hope you stick with it.