The words of a very good friend of mine (a GP of 30 odd years) come to mind.
Before he even knew my wife was an alcoholic we were loosely talking about pressuring a spouse to quitting drinking (mine).
He cautioned to watch what I wish for as he said in his experience couples mostly don’t stay together after the drinker finds sobriety. Not a scientific study, but seem to be consistent.
I probably don’t know enough about al-anon, but can it bring you back to love your partner when that has all been washed away?