Boundaries for co-parenting
With some very strict boundaries for my kids STBXAH is able to now spend two days a week with them and that seems to be going alright. For the most part he has even been easy for me to deal with. Just having the kids ready when I come and I can just leave with them.
It was different when I picked them up on Thursday this week and he was being super emotional. He was telling me what a horrible person I am for ruining his life. Telling me how hard his life is and then crying at me. I know better, but it is still hard to be around.
Well this turned into a series of emails from him that started out confrontational and then turned into begging me to come back. I shouldn't have responded and I know that, but I at least held my ground with him and saying I wasn't coming back. However, the end result was I agreed to meet him on Monday and talk to him in person about some things.
He was implying that he wanted to find a "less extreme" relationship with me and a middle ground and that is why he wanted talk. I have been thinking about it, though, and while I do feel we should be civil for our kids I am not sure how much more I can really give to the relationship and still continue to define myself separately from him. Initially I thought being friends might be ok and that the larger issue was living with him and his problems, but I don't think you can really be friends with someone who is constantly trying to win you back and is unstable in their emotions and behavior towards you.
Anyway, my question was...what boundaries do others have in co-parenting relationships with their xA's when it comes to themselves? I think I know what boundaries I need for the kids, but I feel confused about how to approach my relationship with him and when I go talk to him tomorrow I want to be armed with boundaries and a clear image of what I can and cannot be to this man.