DYankee

Hello, all of you kind folks:

Well, I guess things are going well for my son; he's out of detox (they kept him longer than usual because they could't get his BP down). He's moved from the 30 day program into a residential faith-based halfway house (for prisoners, don't know if that mix is a good one). My daughter has been real confrontational with me, and I'm trying to accept that this is a reprise of her abusive relationship with her father and that her own faith has made her very judgemental. I'm just going to sit tight and try to weather her storm. My oldest son is staying out of the picture, and I don't blame him!

You know, I have stayed silent all of these years about the abuse and have tried to accentuate the better side of my exhusband. But this experience has led to my trying to set down the history of my years with him...I'm on page 5 (single spaced!) and haven't scratched the surface. I put all of this stuff in a mental box and shoved it under the bed, so to speak. I don't know if I'll ever have the courage to speak these things out, especially considering my daughter's reaction, but it's a beginning. It seems that my three children consider him something of a saint and I'm the demon in the picture. Nothing could be more unfair, and it 's not fair to them, either, because there are far to many instances of his bad behavior for each of them, that can't be reconciled to that picture.

I certainly didn't want to revisit those years, but you know the odd thing? I felt an enormous sense of release after I wrote many of these things down.

Best to all,
Laurie