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Old 01-22-2011, 09:27 AM
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Tuffgirl
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Wow. This stuns me but also makes me nod my head and say - yep - run, Forest, run.

I got on this morning to pose a question to others out here about trying to salvage my marriage. Reading your post and your warning makes me take heed again. Which is probably what my head is trying to tell me by the insomnia and nightmares since we talked about marriage counseling. I don't think I have reached a point of true acceptance of what my future looks like if I stay married to this guy - very well could look like yours has, and 5, 10, 15 years later I am leaving a similar post on the internet somewhere. Or, this could be a complete life-changing experience for him and we are able to pick up the pieces and go on - as grown ups in a healthy marriage. Since I retired my crystal ball, I've had to just have plain old faith in myself to make the right decision, or to at least feel good about whatever decision that may be.

Thank you for sharing your painful story. It breaks my heart; for you knowing the high hopes you have had (I have them too) and for your wife who will someday sober up again and the shame she'll have to face. Is it really that powerful to turn people into complete monsters?! I have more than two drinks at a time and it makes me sick to my stomach... I guess I am still struggling to understand this from a non-alcoholic point of view and maybe that's just impossible. Have any of you out there just quit drinking alcohol even though you are not an alcoholic, because you have born witness to the damage it causes? I used to love a good microbrew. Now its hard to sit with a drink in my hand and not have flashbacks to some horrid experiences.

I wish you well and hope your life just gets better from this point forward. I am sure you are doing the right thing for you, as lousy as it is to have to make a decision like this. But letting another destroy us with their disease and issues is not worth it.

Take good care.
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