Please continue to come to this forum. We gots lots o' good folks here that will hold your hand.
I have had mixed feelings about Al-anon - as far as how truly helpful it is (for me).
One day I realized that I wasn't getting as much "program" stuff as I had wanted, but I did want to be around people in the recovery community.
So I kept going, every once in awhile.
One day I realized that what I wanted was some friends from the recovery community. I tried to go outside my comfort zone and say hi and go for coffee every so often. It was uncomfortable to say the least.
One day I got a smile and hug from my fave person at the meeting.
One day I gave the talk at the meeting. The weirdest thing happened; I got applauded afterwards.
People started smiling, saying "hi christine" and acting like maybe they kinda liked me.
Today, I walk in that room and feel like I belong. I know people names, and they know mine. Last month, I recieved my very first medallion, after having gone intermittently for
15 years 
The great thing about it, is you get to take what you want, and leave the rest.