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Old 01-21-2011, 09:51 AM
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msmelrem
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Mundelein, IL
Posts: 33
Question Does letting go mean we must separate living situations?

Here's the deal, 2 months ago I caught my AH in a lie that he couldn't get out of, I've actually caught him in several lies but there's always excuses for everything. This time, it was blatant. And I went straight to his parents who had no idea that I have been dealing with my AH's secretive addiction. He used to be an addict and when we met he was sober for 3 years. We were together for 3 years and I was confident that he would not go back to drugs. Two months prior to us getting married I started to see change in his behavior. It is true when they say, a woman always knows when something is up with their husband. I observed him for a few months, I thought he may just be stressed because of the wedding and buying a house at the same time. But after buying the house, he started to leave at odd times of the night and again his behaviour has changed. Sleepless nights...etc...you could see from my last post. Anyway fast forward to two months ago, he admitted to me that he went out and got high with his friends and that he promised he will never go out anymore, and that he will stop his partying ways. He's been pretty good in keeping his promise of coming home after work and not leaving or going out with friends. However the behaviour I would see at least once a week. I tried to talk to him about it, and he said he doesn't need help, he's not an addict to drugs, he's more addicted to money. NON SENSE!! And what else do I want from him? He's been coming home, giving me all his paycheck, and just taking care of the house. ALL TRUE, however I still see the sleeplessness, the constraint voice change, and the jaw clench, and sexual activity wanting to be explicit. Now my question is, I want to let go, but because I do not have anywhere to go, I'm in Chicago with child and my parents are in California, I have to stay here for custody issues with my x-husband. I just do not have a place to go. How can I set my boundaries? How do I not think of him when he's still in the same household? How do I let go of not thinking of where his whereabouts? What do I say to him?
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