Originally Posted by
goldengirl3 
Thank you floss. Um yes my threads are all about him because the forum is family and friends of alcoholics. Duh.
LOL. This cracks me up because I had the same reaction when I first started therapy. She wanted to talk about ME. My life, my parents, my childhood. Not very bright for someone with a Masters Degree. Didn't she hear me when I said I was seeing her because I was married to an alcoholic? Duh.
We all come from different places, different backgrounds and have had different experiences.
I totally agree with this, which is why I can only share from my own experience. That being, the cause of someone elses behavior is of much less importance to me than how it affects me and how I respond to it. And when I get all wrapped up in diagnosing someone else, I forget that I can trust myself to recognize unacceptable behavior. I don't need to recognize every condition and symptom in the DSM IV in order to protect myself. I simply have to decide what is acceptable and what is not--to me.
For example, I have a boss who can be a real d!ck sometimes. When he treats me with contempt, I can go all victim, wonder if he's an alcoholic, narcissist, or was abused as a child. Or, I can simply acknowledge that he's behaving like a jerk, and figure out the best way to respond in terms of protecting myself from his behavior.
Whatever works for you is great. Just sharing what works for me.
L