Guess I'll put on my "AA Hat" here and relate my experience in my first 3 years away from the booze and 'into recovery.'
I would have been totally LOST without my AA meetings and the "Meetings after the Meetings in coffee shops." Many was the night that I didn't get home until 1 or 2 am and then up to work in the morning. Now those 'meetings after the meetings' were usually with my sponsor and others or my sponsor's sponsor and others.
I got sober in the San Fernando Valley and over the years have come to see, that this is very popular in California, more so than in other parts of the country. But it worked for me, and has for many others.
They literally were my life line so to speak as I slowly learned how to 'live' sober and become once again a productive member of society.
Oh and as a side note, I got married at a year and a half sober to another sober alcoholic with more time than myself and there were many nights that he too went for 'meetings after the meetings' with his fellow sober alkies.
Slowly we set nights of the week where 'we' met for coffee with other A's and Al-anons.
I was a very slow learner when it came to recovery and was very fearful of 'not' getting 'it' and going back out, and to be honest I too hung on to the other sober A's VERY TIGHTLY.
Everybody's recovery goes at a different pace, and I personally think that at '9 months' if she says she is 'hanging on by a thread' then she probably is and is being as honest with you as she can at the moment.
J M H O
I am glad that you are going to Al-Anon, as at 3 years sober I started attending Al-Anon also and it helped then and still helps me greatly, with ME.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.
Love and hugs,