Old 01-19-2011, 11:59 AM
  # 192 (permalink)  
cutelittlewife
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by LaTeeDa View Post
Okay. If that's true, then why did you feel the need to bring it up to him that you were "giving more that you were getting?"

Again, only food for thought.

L
Well exactly. Something we need to work on as a couple. I do think I am a lot more self sufficient and over the years I have 'trained' him to not do certain things for me because he'll do them wrong. For example he can't get me a gift without me choosing it. I have noticed that I've gone too far and I've hurt his feelings so I'm steering away from being controlling and now I let him mess things up and he's improving a lot. Apparently all I need to do sometimes is to step away and not even watch. And he does fine.
Yes, I am aware that's what AlAnon preaches but I like coming up with solutions by myself.
So yeah, I think me stopping him from doing things for me left him with few opportunities to do things without me getting upset. I would flip out when he got me flowers, etc. I will definitely be more passive now and let him shower me with love and I will concentrate on the taking instead of giving. And we're golden
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