Originally Posted by
grizz 
I was wondering if someone could tell me what the stages of alcoholism are. A person very close to me started drinking about four years ago a couple glasses of wine and she now her tolerance has increased to over a bottle every night. I can't remember the last time there hasnt been any alcohol consumed for an evening. Doesnt appear to have any withdrawl symptoms. Doesnt drink in the morning. Most of the time is fairly pleasant after the alcohol is consumed. She has had a few blackouts, but not recently. I and other members of the family have tried talking to her, but she isnt interested. Is she an alcohlic or just an abuser? Any help would be greatly appreciated
I started on a couple of glasses a night, progressed onto a bottle a night. Then onto 2 bottles. Started drinking at 4pm instead of dinner time. Gradually earlier and earlier. Then throw in some vodka cos the wine isn't really good enough on its own anymore. The entire time I was a high functioning alcoholic with a good job etc.
I quit in November, 12 years after it all started. By then it was vodka first thing in the morning followed by 2 litres of wine throughout the rest of the day. I have heard that the vast majority of alcoholics who do manage to quit eventually "mature out of it" after 10-15 years of heavy drinking. It isn't especially relevant whether she is an "alcoholic" now, nor will it be especially relevant which support methods she finds suit her when she is ready to quit.
Don't enable her.
Make some firm boundaries and enforce them strictly.
Try not to blame her - she isn't doing this to you, it is all about her.
Originally Posted by
grizz Another nightly ritual is falling asleep at 8:00 - 8:30 every night. She says that she is tired.
Chronic fatigue is one of the ways that alcoholics are affected. I have had chronic fatigue for a few years now. Please do not put this down to "quacking". Her vital organs will be under immense stress and will be spending most of their time processing alcohol instead of doing the job they are supposed to be doing. We cannot provide any medical advice on this forum but I recommend you have a chat with a doctor to understand better what she is going through. In the meantime, please feel free to PM me and I can give you some links which you can read about the effects on the liver, kidneys, thyroid, adrenals and brain. This is a damn serious substance and she is drinking wayyyyy too much of it already.
All best wishes
NAT
PS whenever negotiating any boundaries, try to avoid sentences starting with the word "you". We alcoholics are unable to produce stress hormones so tend to get angry when we are being paranoid
PPS get her to take vitamin B complex supplements as a minimum - you dont even want to know about "wet brain", believe me