Thank you for your support - everyone. Yes, he is Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. No doubt about it. I called the hotline and they have recommended that I speak with a counselor. Now I just have to figure out WHEN I can do that. I will have to leave work early. The Hotline person was wonderful. She let me know that I have options and that I am not alone, just as all of you have done.
Takingcharge999, I really appreciate all you said. I know that only he can change and that I cannot make him stop drinking. It seems to me that my BF is an abuser and the alcohol only makes it worse. He is short-tempered and very very impatient. Expects perfection all of the time - just like his father. I don't believe his father has a drinking problem but growing up BF's friends called his dad, the Grizzly. Yeah, a bit scarey. My BF was abused by his dad - not an excuse, just a fact. Everything was always my BFs fault growing up. Just a little more background about my BF (I didn't find all of this out until long after we started dating) BF started drinking and smoking weed in high school; his drug use escalated and he tried pretty much everything.
The first time he was physically violent he tried to tell me that he had never done it before - therefore making it all my fault. Well, recently, I was speaking with the mother of a girl he used to date and she revealed that BF had actually hit the girl and the mother was furious. What a revelation! It lifted a lot of guilt off of my shoulders because I had come to believe it was all my fault. Oh, did I mention he is a master liar? I actually read here where someone said that she had a PhD in Lying and her Lie-dar was super sonic now...yeah, that's me. I hate lying. I hate being lied to.
Well, enough venting for me...thank you again for your support and prayers. You are helping to remind me of how strong I really am and how I can move on from this time in my life.
