Thank you thank you thank you for all of your prayers and thoughts for me and my crappy situation. This weekend was a huge wake up call for me. I laid there in bed once he was asleep downstairs and thought...why? why am I in this relationship with someone so crazy? How have I managed to get in so deep? I think I deserve better...
That's when I started searching online for info and found SR. Reading the posts has made me realize a lot about myself, my choices and about my AB. I am sad right now. Almost mourning the loss not of the craziness but of the good times and the love. Alcohol is killing him and will continue to do so if he doesn't realize it and put the brakes on. Frankly, I don't want to be there when he does hit bottom. I don't want to see him like that and I don't want to be on the receiving end of his drunk angry alter-ego.
I am going to call DV hotline and see if I can start talking to a counselor on a regular basis. Build up some strength and confidence and send him on his way. For the longest time he has made be believe that I was to blame for everything. I am a smart girl so I have no idea how he got me there, but he did.
So thank you again everyone. I will keep posting and updating. Your kindness actually brought tears to my eyes. I appreciate it more than you know.
