I just read your thread and I'm already praying for you.
You are going through something so difficult. How can this man, who you've stood by through hell and back just up and leave you and your daughter when he's all better now?
But I have to say...I don't think he is.
If he's at a bar, chances are, he's drinking.
Nobody would put themselves through that just to "see if they can handle it".
Even if he did it for that reason... he obviously still has alot of issues and doesn't care about himself or his sobriety to put himself in that situation.
And neither does the girl he's w/ for that matter.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling...devestated, confused, world upside down.
I pray you get over this as soon as possible and live your life w/out him.
Because as much as it hurts and as much as you feel like this...he doesn't deserve you.
I put my family through pretty much what he put you through, and my ex fiance was at the end of his rope. I'm hoping I stopped just in time, and if I did..I'm gonna count my lucky stars and do what it takes to make it up to him.
But this guy has issues.
Issues that may never get resolved if he doesn't get some sort of therapy.
Alcoholism plays a huge part in putting ones family through the ringer,
but what you're describing is character, a mans morals and sense of decency.
And it sounds like this guy has none.
Even if he is drinking again...sounds like you lost enough of yourself for this guy. Its probably best to start thinking about life w/out him.
I know its hard to hear but you trully are better off. Its hard to hear right now because thats not the kind of advice you're looking for.
You're looking for answers to your "why" or "how come".
Maybe you already know the answer (you know him best)
and its right in front of you.
Its gonna take alot to get to where you're gonna be ok, emotionally.
But its gonna be worth it in the end.
I wish you all the best...