bruingirl,
first of all, WELCOME to sober recovery! i hope you come around this board, as it offers much in the way of wisdom and experience. you may post as often as you like, and we are always here.
i think for the most part, you have gotten great advice. i too side with the "alcohol-free zone" household, for (probably) as long as he feels that is a good idea.
i would not be upset that he said he'd make that demand; i'd be thrilled that he was taking his recovery seriously.
i'm a wine drinker, and when my xah was newly sober i only drank when out with friends or family, but not in his presence. i just thought it was the respectful thing to do. i am now dating a recovering alcoholic, and he tells me he cares not whether i drink, so i have one glass of wine when we dine out. it's just apparently not an issue for him. i think they need to know where their potential slippery places are, and it sounds like your guy does.
i clearly remember lamenting my husband's alcoholism. i did the "why me?" "why this?" thing for awhile. i did not want to change
my lifestyle because of his issue.
i was just being selfish. i didn't yet know all the gifts that would come my way
because of his alcoholism.
but i do now.
i wish you the best.