***I do believe he never wanted this to happen, which doesn't seem to change the fact he couldn't control himself... He called that girl to ask her what happened. It bothers me that he's been lying to me about his substance abuse - he relapsed about a month ago, went out for drinks and hid it from me, says he was ashamed he was drinking after 21 months of sobriety.***
I'm so sorry you're going through this painful situation. Getting drunk and going into a blackout is no excuse for what he did. We all make choices ... picking up a drink is a choice as is not drinking.