Welcome, Denise!
How great you are reaching out. The insanity of alcohol is well known to us and we "get" you!
It sounds like you don't see much in the "plusses" column when it comes to your husband.
I hear that.
It also sounds like you are ready to move on but it doesn't seem viable.
One little step at a time.
Getting love and support is a great start!
Making a plan (maybe it takes some time, but you have the peace of knowing you are taking actions to care for yourself - and your sanity!
) is a good idea.
Kia suggestion of going to see a friend is a good idea, if you can. I assume you'd need to bring your son.
Do you anticipate your son being able to live independently at 18? (I have a friend that has a 16 year old son with executive function disorder. She does not see her son living independently. That can feel pretty heavy.)
Don't lose hope! There is support in many ways out in the world!
Consider picking up a copy at the library or otherwise of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It REALLY helped me put things in perspective with my husband!
Also consider finding a live Alanon meeting in your area.
Face to face support is a fabulous thing.
Keep posting and reading.
Peace