No contact is what I am doing as well with my exab. And I read a past thread that talked about the no contact also including talking to 3rd parties about them as well. See I would call his Mom every 2-3 weeks or so to see how he is doing in his halfway house. I dont do that anymore, and I find that I am caring a little less about what is going on in his life. I let go of the fantasy that one day he will be who I want him to be and that we will be together. I live in the real world today. My Brother on the other hand is in his own halfway house too, after being released from prison, and has been clean and sober for 13 months, so I still have regular contact with him, but I am ready at a moments notice, since I have been working this great program and have found all of you guys....ready to go no contact with him too if it comes to that. Thanks for letting me ramble....and thank you for the post Steve....