smacked - I am NOT making excuses for him. I was asked what triggered/lead to his last relapse and if those factors are gone. I was just giving, what I thought was an appropriate response. If you ask me what directly caused his relapse, I'd say 'his desire to drink' and I bet he'd say the same thing. Also, the only time I let my husband read this thread was back when he posted. He's really not that into internet forums.
Liv2011 - I will not leave him now. I cannot divorce my husband because of one horrible mistake he made. That's not what marriage is about. Like I said before, I would like him to give me a second chance if I effed up. I will absolutely have no problem leaving him if he doesn't again though. It's your decisions, but I would not take a cheater back 'again and again' and I really don't understand people who do...
I forgot to tell you guys, I really enjoyed speaking to my counselor on Tuesday, she helped me get some distance and she also said the 'once a cheater always a cheater' is not true and that it's on a person to person basis, especially when it's not an EA but a drunken ONS. I know this post might cause a whole tidal wave of comments about how naive I am (believe me, I am not. I'm one of the coldest, down to earth, untrusting people you'd ever meet) and how he's manipulating and lying.
Shellcrucher - how am I taking responsibility? Covering for his mistakes?
And all the 'mean' posts - I know you guys only know me from this thread and don't know me in real life, therefore I am prepared to read comments that are absolutely not true. That's how it works, and you have no way of knowing you're getting a wrong idea of me, and that's ok. As long as a chunk of things and suggestions you have for me are relevant, I'll keep posting
