Thanks Live, like I said, I am not blaming myself for this, just saying, that I need to fix things on my end too. And I know he's been 'taking the matters into his own hands' lol and watched a lot of porn and we had a discussion last night about how that could have been part of the problem, when all drunk and coked up with inhibitions practically inexistent he went with the flow... The girl started going down on him, something I wouldn't have done if he was drunk. Yuck!
You know, in one of their angry chats after the fact, when he told her to stay out of our lives she said 'enjoy your unhappy marriage'. That hurt me. I know she knows nothing about marriage and I shouldn't care, but it hurts thinking that she thinks we're both miserable. I'm working to get over it now.
Since I found out, he has changed a lot, he now helps around the house and with the baby (he's the cutest father ever, he has so much patience for our 'terrible 2', also, she's a spitting image of him). He jumps up whenever I need something and has been treating me really well. I do think there's hope and he genuinely regrets it. It doesn't mean I trust him completely, but maybe some day I will be able to.