(((Evolabob))) - I'm so sorry for your loss. I also agree with checking on the grief forum. I have a dear friend, there, who lost her sister and is raising her neice, and there are others.
I know the feelings are coming at you from everywhere, but this is normal. We're here for you. If we haven't lost a loved one, it is one of our greatest fears. You are not alone.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy