You have come a VERY long way, m'dear.
What you are going through is just part of the emotional adjustments of separation and divorce
It sucks and it's gonna suck for awhile yet. It sounds like you are doing a good job of checking your motives and doing the best you can to do the next right thing. It's not quite as easy as it sounds, eh? But you're doing fine. Really. ((((Hugs))))