really upset...
Hi, everybody… I’m new here but I just wanted to get my story out to see if anybody could relate or had any advice… I’m 19 years young and for the past 7 months I’ve been dating a 23 year old alcoholic. I met him years ago when I was 15 and he was addicted to other substances… we met up again in June and got together. He was done with drugs, but was addicted to alcohol instead.
Our situation was hard. I never dated a guy that I actually trusted and thought really cared for me until I was with him. He was not only someone I was dating, but my best friend, and we were inseparable. However, with my own issues due to past relationships and depression/low self esteem, as well as my own issues with alcohol, things were hard. It hurt very bad, some of the things I saw. He never was mean or angry when he drank. He didn’t drink to get drunk, but to keep from being sick. And no matter what happened, he refused to get help. His girlfriend prior to me had broken up with him because of his unemployment and drinking, and he was kicked out of his mom’s house and moved in with his dad, which didn’t do much good. I know how troubled he is, but so am I, and I know that I could never give up on him, because he’s never given up on me and I care so much for him.
I’m grounded for a week (till Monday) for staying out really late, and I just got a call from the boy that his friends had an intervention and his mom was calling someone to have him sent away. He had been to rehab a few times before, and made a contract with his mother that if he was caught drinking hard liquor, he would go away. Well, his friends told him they thought he needs help. They took his vodka bottle and showed it to his grandfather and they called his mom I know this is really selfish, but I am so upset that no one told me they were going to do this, and I was not included. And the worst thing is, I’m not even going to be able to say goodbye to him.
I know this is what he needs, but he is so adamant about not going. This was another one of our problems. He would always talk about how he couldn’t live that way anymore and wanted to change but would never take any steps necessary to do so. But anyway… if he is really set on not going, is this even going to help him? I talked to his friend on the phone. His friend is not positive about the details but thinks he is being sent to a halfway house about 3 hours away from here. How does a halfway house even work? Is it the same thing as rehab?
I guess I’m not really sure what I’m asking or what I’m trying to say. I see all the potential in the world for him and I want to be there for him, but I’ve never been in a situation like this, let alone been close to a boy at all and I just don’t know what to do.
Like I said before, I know I am being really selfish… I want him to get better, but I am going to miss him so effing much. I can’t imagine a day without seeing him or at least talking to him in some way. And I always read about how relationships do not work after recovery. I guess I’m just wondering, if anyone has been/is in a situation similar to mine, and how they dealt with it, because i've only just found out about this and I cannot stop crying and worrying. Thanks...