Originally Posted by
Rayn3dr0p 
I am absolutely, 100% NOT objective on this topic, nor do I feel I need to be, so I preface this by saying take what you want and leave the rest.
I absolutely loathe cheaters. I was cheated on by a lying, low-down, passive-aggressive scumbag. First, he said they only kissed. Then, he said it was only one time. Then, I found out it was for months. When I gave him a second chance, he did it again. Then, I found out they weren't the only ones. There were many throughout our entire relationship.
In my experience, the type of cheaters that have a random, one-night fling and then completely atone for their actions are fictional characters that can only be found in movies and on TV. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" exists for a reason. Cheaters cannot be trusted. They lie to cover their tracks. And when the truth comes out, it is easy to act remorseful after the fact. Too easy.
How do you know he has never done it before? You don't. How will you know he will never do it again? You won't.
I know this is a fairly inflammatory post, but trust that I took great pains to censor myself.
I love ya Rayn, and I know you are talking about your own experience, but I'd also like to add mine.
As a recovering Al-anon, ACOA, I looked back through the years and found out I was always a cheater! Until this current relationship. For the past 10 years, there has been only one man in my life.
I'm not a cheater any more. That's just just not me.
I went to an Al-anon meeting last week and a lady said that she had considered one solution to her live-in alcoholic situation was to cheat. She could find that physical/emotional release, she thought, as she had before, in cheating. Then she reconsidered. I had to smile. I had thought about it too.
I think this situation, after having read these posts, just screams that Mr. ALW was just looking for permission to indulge in his DOC. He found someone who would get high with him. So, he manipulated that person with sex for his high, basically. I do believe his cheating was a direct effect of his addiction.
I know my AB will hang out with anyone who says his drinking is ok. I have to be prepared for the possibility of this same thing happening to our relationship.